Guard and Scythe
by SimplyShiori
Summary: In the end, all I could do was cry. In the end, all I could do was hold your name on the tip of my tongue. In the end, this was the only thing to keep me from going insane; somebody, please, save me. So now there's a new, a new without you. And I am Me. I am Alone. I am All. All of You. I am Nobody. I am No One. I am Here. Just call my name. Just be in Need. And I will be There.


It may be best to either A. Listen to the piano version of "Call My Name" or B. Listen to the untitled song "Marco", both from the Shingeki no Kyojin soundtrack I believe while reading this. I more so recommend Marco. Enjoy.

* * *

**[Prologue]  
****Insomniac's Slumber**

They came in our sleep.

The rough shaking that proceeded from the hands of my sister had awoken me that night and groggily, I sat up. And that's when she shoved my personalized 3D Maneuver Gear at me, the same one our other siblings, Shinkō and Ai, had created for me before they left. I could feel the air being forcibly pushed from my lungs; it hurt like bloody Hell, and it bothered me because I know that she knew that my ribs were still sore from yesterday's escapades. "What is wrong with you? That hurts," I told her, I was angry, I had every right to be so my hands gripped onto the gear as a sign of my irritation, and I cut her a glare.

I have never seen such a look on her face before, I did not see it when she decided to leave for the military, I did not see it when she decided to join the Survey Corps of all things, I didn't even see it when she left for her first expedition beyond these walls. So for the first time in my life, I can see that my sister is absolutely terrified. I couldn't see it in her face, she masked it well, but I could see it in those giant brown eyes. But why, why are you scared? If you're scared then that means there _must_ be a problem. My irritation subsided quickly. "Heh-Hey, what's the matter, what's wro–" and my words are short-lived, the question pressing on the tip of my tongue fading as I felt my bed, my room, the _world_, tremble beneath me. My eyes widen and suddenly I am aware, I am shocked, and I'm afraid, so very afraid.

She gives me this look of the utmost urgency and my body runs on autopilot, to the point where nothing matters. It doesn't matter that I am wearing only my night tunic and shorts, it doesn't matter that I slide bare feet into harness straps that dug into my exposed flesh, critically bruising my already discolored skin almost instantly, and it doesn't matter that my shoes were unavailable and thus I forwent them. No, none of these things matter. I couldn't get that gear on fast enough.

"Why? When did this? This is, this is crazy, I don't, I can't. Just…Gādo how?" I question as she takes Hanzai and Batsu out of their sheathed placements and into her hand grips. "I don't know Ōgama," she doesn't face me when she answers, "But none of those things matter, they're here and we have to fight." She gulps audibly. The amount of fear building in the room is staggering but brave masks were placed upon our fearful faces so I grabbed Himei, my scythe and weapon of choice, and turns to my last of kin. These things, these titans, are the reasons as to why it was just Gādo and I now. I was the last to be given life, the fifth child to carry on our family's heritage. Mother left before I made a year and Gādo said that Egao, our brother, was born dead, I wasn't alive yet so I never met him. Ai perished when I was nine, and Shinkō left just a year, so since then, for the last three years, it has just been my eldest sister and I.

She was staring at me intently. I can feel her questioning my abilities. True, I've only slain two titans in my thirteen years of life and both were with her assistance — and by assistance I mean she practically incapacitated them for me — but we cannot dwell on my mediocrity, we cannot hesitate, they're coming and I will have no choice but to fight them; and if need be, without her assistance. I am scared. I don't want to die. But Gādo is here and she will protect me, she always has. I am not mentally prepared to face the walking deaths that make their way closer and closer to our little home inside Maria but once again, I cannot worry about that. I have to fight. I don't want to but I have to. I no longer have the time to worry. No, those days are over.

"Stay close."

She jumps out the window.

I follow.

* * *

Fighting in the dead of night is not an optimal condition when going against titans.

"Where the hell is everyone!?" Gādo screams as she slices through the neck of an 8-meter titan before ricocheting back to my side; we're standing on the roof of someone's three-story home. She's right though; we've seen civilians running for their lives and directed them when we had the chance to. We've seen and tried to save those who were captured by the titans. We've seen people die. We've seen people kill their kin before taking their own lives. We've seen titans. So _many _titans. But we haven't seen any forces. No Survey Corps. No Garrison. No Military Police. Where was the military? It was just us. In retrospect, it has always been like that, even before everyone left us. Gādo and I, we've always been close and we are very similar, we are disobedient and sarcastic, sometimes cynical, and slightly demented, fun to be around and always looking for something to do. Our natures made us quite the handful and thus, with one always standing behind the other no matter how wrong the other was, we didn't take well to the outside world. So once again, it was just us, Gādo and I, against them, these gigantic, mindless death machines, against the titans, against the world.

We tried. We tried our best. We've killed every titan we've seen in our immediate radius, which in itself isn't very wide. But it's so dark. And I'm not the greatest. I miss a lot, so we decide that I would be more of the distraction and she would be the one to put them down. It was my idea. Gādo naturally is against it but does it anyways because it is our safest strategy for survival.

I hit the ground.

My gear isn't working anymore.

There's a titan before me.

It's smiling.

I cry.

* * *

The bell tower.

We were stuck in the bell tower, at least I am stuck here, Gādo has gas. I do not. She saved me when I tumbled out the sky and plucked me from the bloody, burning pathways as I stared up, frozen, into the disfigured face of a 3-4 meter. I feel stupid. I almost died. I didn't run. I did move. I just stood there and cried. I should have ran. I should have done something, anything asides from just standing there, in fear, in surrender. And I'm still crying and my sister holds me as I do so. She runs her slim fingers through my knotty hair, she rocks me, she coos softly in my ear as if I was a child but I can hardly hear her. I can hardly hear anything. I fear them, I know this now. I'm scared of the titans more so than I first believed. I don't want to be eaten, I don't want to die by those terms. I don't want any of this and I just chant these words, over and over again, "I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die." I feel like I'm losing my mind. How, how are the titans even inside? What happened to the wall? It looks the same as ever, so where is it broken, why is it broken, what happened, why is this happening? You're supposed to protect us, keep us safe, keep them out. I'm supposed to live and get married and have kids and continue our heritage. I'm supposed to have a life full of surprises and happiness, hardships and victories, I'm only thirteen. I'm still a kid. I still want to live. I don't want to die like this. I don't want to die now. I don't want to die!

Someone is screaming.

And then I recognize the voice.

It is my own.

The world is still trembling.

I hear these words.

"You're not going to."

They're not my own.

* * *

My sister is _fucking_ crazy.

"Stop Gādo, what do you think you're doing!?" I grab her hands but she only tears them away from my hold and continues switching our fuel supply. I voiced my thoughts earlier, I didn't even notice, I was so hysterical and only came back to when she spoke to me. Gādo's switching is almost done now, I see her hands shaking. She's afraid. "Please," I beg her, my voice is cracking and my throat is dry but she only looks up at me, looks at me with such a smile before looking back down and continuing. "Gādo don't, stop, please, what're you doing? Please stop." I'm begging at this point, I don't care how pathetic I sound. I feel so torn; I lean forward and pull her into a hug, resting my head on her shoulder. I'm still crying. She's switching our blades now. She places Hanzai and Batsu in my sheaths.

"I need you to live Ōgama, there's enough gas to get you to the river, the boats should be there so you can sail into Wall Rose and be safe." But Gādo there is no such thing as safe anymore, not with all of this, not without you. "I love you sis, I love you so very much so promise me, when you get there, you will live your life for you and do what is right." Stop it. Don't talk like that. "You have so much to do and I need you to do these things, for me, for us, take care of yourself." How, how am I supposed to do any of this without you? I don't understand. "Humanity needs you." But Gādo I'm nothing without you. I need you. She pulls me back and kisses my forehead. "But Gādo, I can't, not without you, please." She's finished now. I am sad. She sighs but there's a smile on her face, she caresses my cheek and I lean into her soft touch, "You can and you will." I shook my head a bit and cupped my hands over hers, savoring its warmth, "I can't."

"Yes you can."

"I can't."

"Yes you can."

"No, I–"Jisatsu," she interrupts and places her hands on my shoulders, her grip is firm, "you have to." She never calls me by my first name. She knows how much I hate it, I despise that name, that disgusting name. Mother named all her children in her native tongue with whatever she cared about the most at the time, whatever she adored the most in her current existence. My name, my name is horrible. I'm crying again. She releases my shoulders and stares at me. I stare at my hands placed in my lap. I see the tears dripping onto each one before her hands join mine. She lifts them. My eyes follow and then I see her face. She's smiling, so brightly, so wide, with tears overflowing, running down her cheeks. She looks so happy.

"Please Gādo."

"I love you."

"I love you too, but stop."

"Be safe for me."

"Don't make me do this."

"And promise me."

"Please…"

"Promise me Jisatsu! Promise me or I will die for nothing! Promise me!"

_Die…for nothing? _"…I promise, Seikatsu."

* * *

She saved me.

I am scared. I'm standing on this boat, it's sailing towards Rose, and I feel no better because I am alone. Alone, on this boat filled with hundreds of others, I am alone. My eyes are on the bell tower in the distance. I know she's still there. She can't leave now. No. She stayed so I could go. I don't see any titans around it right now but I still feel no better. She's still there, probably crying. She's probably cold. I bet she's so afraid. She doesn't want to die. She's so young. She's only twenty-six. She had so much for her.

Humanity needs her. I need her. I'm crying. I'm missing my sister, she was the only one that remained. So I bring Himei closer, his curved blade is covered now, and I stroke his hilt softly. I can't stop, I can't stop crying. I have no power. I left her there to die alone. She smiled when she spoke to me. I didn't see the sadness. I looked for it in her eyes and I couldn't find it but deep inside I know she was sad. I wish I could be with her, be with her until my last day. But there's no good in wishing now. I choose this ultimately. I did this. I left her. If only I was better. If only I was stronger. But I have no power. Seikatsu is going to die because of me.

The bell tower is getting smaller now. The town is up in smoke. Fire is dancing all around. The titans are still walking even though they shouldn't be here, even though they're not supposed to be active. We don't know what went wrong tonight.

I can see screaming. I can smell death. I can hear blood. I can taste fear. I feel everybody has no place to hide. No one is safe. And I still don't get it, what is happening? Just earlier today, Gādo, we spoke of our dreams, our hopes, our desires. I told you about my dreams of a peaceful life, of how I believe we're going to beat the titans one day. You told me about this guy in your squad that you wanted to marry. You blushed. I smiled. I brought you a cup of water and you smiled before you told me more about the things I didn't know or remember. You told me stories of Ai and Shinkō, and explained to me how Egao would have fit into it all, he'd be fifteen now. Ai would be eighteen. Shinkō would be twenty-two. This is what we do to keep their memories alive. And we smiled. We miss them a lot but we still smile. And we went to the market today, you told me about how I've improved so much using my gear this past year. Gādo, you said Shinkō and Ai would be so proud of me. We brought more potatoes and you promised that next time we could buy meat. When we got home, you helped me take care of Himei, maintenance, because he is strong but fragile at the same time. You showed me how to swing properly again, so I wouldn't hurt my wrists so much anymore. And you patted my back, only to apologize because you remembered my ribs hurting from my fall the day before. The sun's started to go down. We showered together, like always, and then you made dinner. It was good. You walked with me upstairs and brushed my hair and sung to me. I love your voice. I said I was turning in early, you laughed and called me lazy, and I threw my pillow at you. You fell on your butt but you didn't stop laughing. And I laughed too. I lay down and you returned my pillow. You told me goodnight and kissed my forehead. You said you were going out and that you'll be back soon. Sleepily, I nodded and bid you adieu.

But things changed so suddenly. I lost so much in this disaster. I don't know what happened. You gave all your love to me. You gave me life when I had none. But now, no one is left, only me, but who am I? I am not Egao. I am not Ai. I am not Shinkō. I am not Seikatsu. I am no one. No one's left and there's no one to go on. I don't know anything anymore. All I know is my life is gone. I'm crying. I can't see anything anymore, the tower is gone, the house is gone, the town is gone, everyone, everything is gone. My eyes are close but the tears won't stop. I'm calling out to you, all of you. Your names, your heaven-sent names, stain my lips in little whispers.

And I _die_.

* * *

This, obviously, is the first installment of my Levi x OC story and I don't think it's necessary for a disclaimer; obviously I don't on Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin (if you think one is needed, please let me know, I would be upset if my work gets removed). Also, if someone knows the original artist of the cover, I'd like to know (I searched the mess out of the web and still couldn't find who it belongs to).

Here we have the introduction and a slice of history concerning the main character, my original character Jisatsu who prefers the nickname of Ōgama (note that the meaning behind each name mentioned may be quite important and if you would be so kind to not look up the meaning, if you don't them already, would be great considering it may or may not be important to the story). I will be making a character profile of of Ōgama later, if needed or requested. I have no set time or date or schedule for updates because I am one of those people who get many ideas at once so sorry about that but unless spoken of on a different term, this will be continuing.

On a lighter note, I do hoped you enjoyed the first installment of "Guard and Scythe: A Levi x OC Story" and stay tuned for chapter one! Please leave any comments or critiques below and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. I'm pretty nice most of the time, and I don't bite much so, yeah, feel free. Also, sorry about all the lines but for some reason in the editor it wasn't allowing me to double-space and I really need those point separated or it may get confusing to some.

Thank you very much.


End file.
